I want to start this blog post out with a truth.

Here is today’s truth:

I believe beyond a shadow of doubt that your whole life improves exponentially as your self esteem increases.

Your whole life. Not just your personal or family or business life – your whole life changes for the better as your work to increase your self-esteem.

Therein lies another truth:

Increasing your self-esteem takes work.

It does not just happen. You cannot simply will it into existence. You must work, act, get off your butt and make it happen.

This is a practical not theoretical blog post. I want to give you:

The Top Three Things You Can Do To Boost Your Self-Esteem

1. Treat yourself like you want others to treat you.

We all know the “Golden Rule” which states that we should treat others like we want to be treated. Excellent stuff there – makes the world a better place when we act this way.

How about starting from a place that allows you to do this “rule” effectively? In order to treat others well, we must begin treating ourselves in the same manner. No one likes to be treated badly. Everyone dislikes it when they are treated rudely or with a sense of disdain.

Then why do we treat ourselves like we don’t matter? Why do we see ourselves through a distorted lens that denies the fact that we are undeniably powerful?

STOP IT! Stand up for yourself on a daily basis. Let yourself know that you have within you everything you need to be strong, happy and fulfilled.

Treat yourself like you want to be treated – do it today!

2. Challenge yourself.

Our self-esteem in like a muscle. When we don’t use it, it begins to atrophy and becomes weak. Eventually it dies off and we find ourselves in the midst of despair.

Do not allow this to happen! 

How?

Challenge yourself to do something that absolutely scares the daylights out of you. Life is all about taking risks, and if you confront something that petrifies you head-on, you can show yourself that you have the guts to face and overcome your fears.

Do you cringe at the thought of speaking in public? Challenge yourself to do it.

Does joining a local civic group make your hands sweat? Sign up today.

Would you rather have a root canal than actively seek a promotion at work? Guess what? – it’s time for that to be your challenge.

Press into the thing that scares you. Challenge yourself to be more. Reach out and take a risk. All these things are positive ways to boost your self-esteem.

3. Pursue your passion.

What makes you tick? What makes you want to get up in the morning and face the day with confidence? What turns your crank so much that you can’t stop thinking about it?

Whatever IT is; your friends, family, career or a new adventure – that IT that creates intensity within you is your passion.

Once discovered, and then pursued, your passion will be the driving force that increases your self-esteem. It will be the thing that leads to newness in your life.

When you love something you will be good at it. When you are good at something you are on the path that leads to more self-esteem.

When you are on that path – your life gets better exponentially.

Your Turn:

What things do you do on a consistent basis to increase your self-esteem. How have these things made your life better? If you had one bit of advice for someone struggling with their self-esteem, what would it be?

Let’s continue the conversation in the comments!

Fear is something that we all experience as we journey through life. I’m not talking about phobias or that adrenaline rush you get when you skid to a stop right before rear-ending the car in front of you on the freeway.  Fear is so much bigger than that.

Fear is one of the strongest forces in our lives. It may manifest itself in many forms like:

• Fear of failure
• Fear of loss
• Fear of change
• Fear of risk
• Fear of success

If allowed control, fear can be there very thing that holds us back, deterring us from our path of realizing our highest self;  from reaching our truest potential. Fear can stifle creativity, curb motivation and hinder our goals.

The question isn’t whether or not we experience fear in our lives; the more important question for each of us to ask and answer is how we can move through our fears in an honest way so that they don’t stop us from being who we really are and going for what we truly want in life.

Good news!

Fear can be processed honesty. Fear can be worked through. You can move beyond your fears to the life you were meant to have!

Here are 4 keys for overcoming fear:

1. Be honest about fear.

The first step in overcoming fear is to bring it out into the light of day and acknowledge it. Be honest, tell the truth and be real about the fear you hold.

When we hide our fear, we give it life. When we deny that it exists, we allow it more power that it should hold.

When we shine a light on fear and talk it through, we often find that it was not nearly as scary as we thought.

Honestly admitting our fear gives us the needed breathing room to deal with it. It opens the door to moving beyond.

2. Own it.

Take responsibility for your fear. Own up to the fact that it is your problem.

Why?

Because too often we tend to want to blame others or “circumstances beyond our control” for the fear we are experiencing. Can people or circumstances be scary and fearful? Sure, but the control of that fear lies squarely in your lap. You determine it’s influence over you and your life.

By taking responsibility for our fears we begin to own the fact that we are the only ones who can change them. When we realize this truth, we are on the path to moving beyond fear.

3. Let it out.

Do not repress your fear.

Speak, write,  journal, run, hit something (not someone), scream – do something to let fear out of your body. When we express our emotions with intensity they begin to move through us. When we truly “feel the fear”, we start the process of lessening it’s power and hold over us.

Make fear weak by becoming strong – which leads into our last, and most important key.

4. Take action.

Overcoming fear is not a spectator sport. If you want to let go of and move beyond your fear, you have to be in the game and not on the sideline.

Here are some powerful actions you can take:

A. Give your fear an expiration date. Set a specific time frame for working through and moving beyond.

B. Make fear manageable by break it down into smaller chunks.

C. Stop projecting the worst that can happen.

D. Visualize your desired outcome – see it in your mind.

E. Get up, get out and work for your dream.

F. Always have a Plan B.

There you have it – 4 keys that you can use to overcome fear in your life. I hope you find them helpful.

Your Turn:

Are there other keys that you have used to overcome fear? How have you used them and what was the outcome?

Let’s continue the conversation below.

Lots has been written over the years about Mindset. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines Mindset as:

a habitual or characteristic mental attitude that determines how you will interpret and respond to situations

The Free Dictionary makes it a bit easier:

a mental attitude or inclination

Our mindset is simply the attitude we take towards like – how we think in the world around us.

For me, Mindset is foundational to everything we do in life and in business. It shapes the way we see the world and how we act in it.

Here’s The Truth About Mindset:

Your mindset determines your success.

You are more than welcome to define that success for yourself, but please know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that how you think determines your outcome. Proper thought directly affects your success as a person, wife, husband, business owner, speaker, author and more.

External Pointers To The Truth

Is there a reason why Napoleon Hill’s classic Think and Grow Rich is still read by millions each year? Millionaires and billionaires like Bill Gates, Mary Kay Ash, Dave Thomas and Sir John Templeton have all pointed to proper mindset as key to their success. Each one of them drew their inspiration from the concepts found in Hill’s book.

Hill demonstrated the power of the mind and the thoughts that come from it when he said:

“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”

When you stop the hustle and bustle of your life and focus your mindset on what you want to achieve in every area of your life, remember this truth. If you can conceive it and believe it – it can be yours.

Many have written off Mindset as touchy-feely, woo woo, pop psychology.

Let me ask you, does this truth ring true to reality with you?

Internal Pointers To The Truth

The Dali Lama  says that the purpose of life is one thing: Happiness.  This just feels right and the opposite feels so wrong.

With this idea in mind, can you see how a proper mindset filled with hope and determination can lead to not only happiness, but also success? Is it just possible that you can truly change your life by changing your thinking?

I am not naive. I have seen how hard it can be to change long held negative thought patterns. These patterns can be paralyzing at times. It takes work to change them.

I have also seen the amazing transformation that happens in people’s lives when they do the hard work and reinvent their thinking.

Conclusion

In life and in business we always have choices. We can choose to live and think in positive or negative patterns. We can choose our mindset – it is not predetermined for us.

We are in control – of our thoughts, our lives and our success.

Your Turn:

I want to hear your thoughts. How has life changed for you when you have changed your mindset? Do you agree or disagree with this post? Why? 

Please continue the conversation below!

New Beginnings

I always love this time of year. The turn of the New Year brings with it a sense of excitement and a fresh call to begin again. It is almost as if the slate is wiped clean and we get the opportunity to paint a beautiful new masterpiece of values, goals and action.

I say “almost” because I never want to discount the role of our past in our lives. While our past never completely determines our future, it does have an impact that we cannot simply shrug off. It’s there; no need to deny it.

This is especially true when we reflect back over the good things of our recent past. What went well for you in 2011? Take those things and use them as jumping off points in 2012. This, my friends, is the proper use of our past in our present and future.

With this being said, it is the goal of this post to give you three new beginnings for your consideration as you work and live and play in 2012.

Three New Beginnings for 2012:

1. Being willing to set sacrifices as well as goals.

I have written previously about the idea of New Year = new goals. While I would never discount the importance of goals, I think those goals need to be coupled with the need for sacrifice.

It is a simple yet powerful truth: We cannot be everywhere doing everything for everyone all the time.

The idea is this: For many of you, your life is too full already and for any new goals to succeed, you must be willing to sacrifice something.

Maybe it is:

• TV
• Sleep
• Perfectionism
• Job security
• Fear of failure
• Eating out
• Your favorite dog (okay, that might be stretching it a bit!)

Be willing to sacrifice something along the line this year for the greater good of new goals.

2. Staying focused.

I have seen too many people get side-tracked from their new beginnings because of lack of focus.

You must decide how much your goals really do mean to you and how much time and effort you are willing to put into them – and then you must laser focus your mind and your action on achieving them. Focus is key.

Do not let every new shiny thing distract you.

Focus your mind daily on the task at hand.

Focus your action to each specific step along the way.

Stay focused – you deserve it.

3. Being consistent.

Being consistent is one of my favorite character traits in a person. I like consistent people.

Consistency brings up other powerful character traits like:

1. Trustworthy
2. Determined
3. Loyal
4. Persistent
5. Unwavering

The good news is that the more focused you are, the more consistent you become.

People depend on you. Your family, friends and business relationships want you to be consistent. They want to know that the positive things you do you will do over and over again.

It’s all about being consistent if you are to have wonderful new beginnings in 2012.

Let’s embrace the new year ahead together.

I’m here for you.

DeLores

Question:

What are you excited about in 2012? What are your new beginnings? What are you doing to ensure that they come to fruition?

As this year draws to an end and the light of the New Year looms near, I am sure many of you are setting resolutions and goals. It’s the acceptable and normal thing during this time.

New Year – new goals.

• I’ll lose weight.
• I’ll exercise.
• I’ll save money.
• I’ll travel.
• I’ll start a business.

The prospect of newness is a beautiful thing. With it we feel like we can overcome the world.

Until fear sets in.

What if I succeed?

What happens if I lose the weight, exercise and save some money?

What will my life be like if I really do build a business and have the money needed to travel the world?

I know it seems a bit odd to some of you, but the fear of success is real in the lives of so many people. It rules their world and keeps them from achieving all they were meant to be.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is time to give fear of success an expiration date!

How?

Here are a few techniques I have discovered over the years:

1. First, identify your fear.

I will tell you straight out – this is not the fun part of getting rid of your fear of success. This is the part that includes work

In order to identify your fear you will need to spend some time with it. Get to know it. Make friends with it. Find out where it comes from and why it has taken up residence in your particular life.

This is an inward process. It involves stopping the normal hustle and bustle of your life long enough to be honest and real with yourself. It takes courage to belly up with fear and give it an identity.

Do you have the courage? I think you do.

2. Second, address your beliefs about success.

For many, the fear of success is really not a fear at all – it is a mistaken notion they have about success.

Certain groups or organizations may have steered them into the wrong mindset at it relates to success. This mindset has now set them down a path of thinking wrongly and it has manifested itself in their life as fear.

One excellent method to help your determine and address your belief about success is to write several endings to the following sentences:

Success means….

If I experienced total success….

3. Decide what your own ideal level of success is.

The world around you has many ideas about what success is – fame, fortune, houses, cars and the like. There is nothing wrong with any of them, but they are someone else’s idea of what it means to be successful.

You need to determine your ideal level of success. Only when you understand your standards will you be able to reach them. Knowing what you want opens the door to release the fear of success.

Also, remember that what you want at this stage of your life could change, so your ideal life is certainly not written in stone. Allow it to change as you grow. Be flexible.

4. Act.

Action is the most powerful way to overcome the fear of success. You can identify and address and decide all day long, but if you never act – you will be left in fear.

Daily, consistent action towards your goals and ideal success is a sure and certain way to push out the fear and fill the void. It is the best way to take control of your life and destiny.

Action is key.

Once again, do you have the courage to overcome the fear of success. I truly think you do.

Armed with these techniques you have all that you need to give fear of success an expiration date!

Your Turn:

What techniques have you used in your life to overcome fear? What goals do you have for the coming year? 

Share your thoughts and experiences below.

At this time of year, with all the hustle and bustle of the Holiday season, I want to take a moment and send my best wishes to each of you who stop by and read the Power Blog.

As a writer, there is nothing better than having a place to share ideas that hopefully bring insight and personal power. That is my hope for each post.  It is a joy to write for you, to interact with you and to provide a place of learning and community.

“PowerUp with Pressley” is not just a saying – it is my mission. Thank you for tagging along on that journey.

Here is my Holiday wish for you – the three P’s:

1. I wish you Peace.

If you spend anytime reading the newspapers or watching television news, you know that we live in a world that is often far from being at peace.  Wars, crime, poverty and so many forms of strife can be found all around us. It is the world in which we live.

How then can we have peace?

First, we are not ignorant or naive. We do not live by the motto “out of sight, out of mind.” We understand and face the facts at hand.

But we do so with a different understanding of peace.

“Peace is an inside job” is the truth you and I live by. We understand that if we every want to see peace in our outside world, we must have peace within.

We achieve this kind of peace by living, acting, working from a place of confidence and power. Peace is not some soft, milk toast feeling of utter humility. Peace is strong and powerful and acts in such a way that brings about change for the better in our lives, our families and our world.

I wish you that Peace.

2. I wish you Personal Power.

I have been called a Confidence and Personal Power Expert. I accept that because I know I have dedicated my life to developing confidence and power in my own life and the lives of others. It’s not only what I do, it’s who I am.

Personal Power is readily available to each of us, but too often it goes unnoticed. I have a saying that “Personal power is a gift that often goes unopened.” 

That saying reminds me of:

• the gift of personal power and how it changes lives
• my unending work of speaking, training and coaching related to personal power

I want the gift to be opened – so I wish you personal power.

3. I wish you Prosperity.

The term “prosperity” means so many things to so many people.

The dictionary definition of the word is quite simple: “the condition of being prosperous.”

I think the true understanding of prosperity lies in the words that are associated with it. Words like:

• success
• happy
• health
• well-being
• good fortune
• wealth

These are the words I think of when I think of prosperity in my life.

These are the things I wish you when I wish you Prosperity.

There you have them – my three P’s for this Holiday season. When you encounter the warmth and love of friends and family this season, wish them the three P’s. As you think about your life and work in the coming year, plan around the three P’s. May they be a source of encouragement and help for you and yours.

Happy Holidays!

Question:

What are you wishing for this season? What about your family or your business – what are you wishing for them?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Today I want to introduce you to something that is a dream come true for me – something that I am very proud of and something that I hope will have an impact on the lives of many.

It is my pleasure to introduce you to the UP Woman Movement and Circles:

The UP Woman stands for the Undeniably Powerful woman.  It has long been my belief that we can truly live as powerful women and men. The UP Woman is a movement that teaches, inspires and builds relationship around that truth.

Our Mission is simple, yet, yes powerful:

UP Woman[tm] is a movement to gather business and professional women worldwide to get business and professional training, gain insight on their spiritual and personal power to achieve their ideal life. UP Woman is a place where women can deepen their relationship with God and other women to help them excel in business. It is a confidential place to network, discuss business challenges and get help to grow their business.

Women will gather around the table in UP Circles with an expert in various areas of business and professional development. UP Woman will deepen women’s personal awareness, give women a voice to share their success in a more personal setting and share how they achieved success. UP Woman allows women to be real and to learn how to overcome business and personal challenges.

UP Woman is a movement where women can sincerely support each other. A movement of women using their power to obtain success.

Ways that you can connect with the UP Woman Movement:

The The UP Woman website has lots of information about who we are and what we do. Sign up for our Newsletter and keep up with all the events.

The Up Woman Facebook Page is set to inform and inspire.

We even have a The Up Woman Group – Undeniably Powerful LinkedIn Group where we can discuss what is on our minds.

Diane Mariechild express the power of women this way:

A woman is the full circle. 
Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform.

I believe she is right. You are undeniably powerful! That’s why I started The UP Woman Circles.

I invite and encourage you to join us today.

DeLores

Someone, somewhere along the line said these words (or something like them): “You become who you surround yourself with.”

I’ve seen this to be true over and over again throughout the years.

I firmly believe that the fastest way to change your thoughts, develop a higher sense of self-confidence and feel valued is to develop relationships with people who will encourage you, raise the bar and help you develop the skill sets you need to get where you want to go.

Yes – your relationship equal your success.

Good ones that include the attributes described above can lead you to a level of success you never dreamed possible, but bad ones can drag you down faster than a hammer in water. We need to choose wisely (and it is a choice) who we surround ourselves with on a daily basis.

We need to develop relationships with people who:

1. Encourage us.

Have you ever spent time with someone who it seems their sole mission is to tear you down? They may do it in a subtle, almost unconscious fashion. Often they do it to make themselves feel better. Their demeanor is sour and their attitude is filled with negativity.

No fun huh?

How about the opposite side of the spectrum? When was the last time you had a relationship with someone, friend, colleague or partner who spent their time building you up?

They find the good in you.

They smile and positively engage you in conversation that is about you and not them.

They strengthen you and lead you to a more powerful life.

Quite simply – they encourage you.

My friends, it is a choice, your choice, who you will spend your time with. The relationship you choose will determine your happiness AND your success.

2. Raise the bar for us.

One of the measures of a good relationship is if the person challenges you. Let me say that a different way: A person who challenges you to be a better you, is a person you want near you as often as possible.

This takes some work for most of us. We often think we have this success thing all figured out. We move about with a sense of pride that leads us to believe we have all the answers.

In the beginning, it isn’t easy to have someone who challenges us to raise the bar and consider more in our life. We often have to get out of our own way long enough to consider what they are saying. We often need to get our pride in check.

It is here that I recommend working with a coach. When we are willing to spend money with someone as they help guide us, we are taking the needed action to move out of our “know it all” self.

That move can have significant positive results on your level of success in your particular endeavor.

Choose to couple yourself with someone who raises the bar and challenges you towards more.

3. Teach us.

Have you thought about the possibility of developing new skill sets – of learning more – of being taught something new?

We must be surrounded with people who know more than we do. They must be a part of what we do with our life and business.

Successful people know that education does not have an expiration date.

When was the last time you put a teacher into your relationship bin? What new thing have you learned lately? Are you willing to stretch your mind to consider more than you already know?

A good teacher – someone who helps you develop new skills sets – should always be a member of your relationship team.

Let me end where I started, with what I believe to be true about our relationships and our success:

I firmly believe that the fastest way to change your thoughts, develop a higher sense of self-confidence and feel valued is to develop relationships with people who will encourage you, raise the bar and help you develop the skill sets you need to get where you want to go.

Our relationship equal our success.

It’s your choice. Choose wisely.

Questions:

Who challenges you and how? How has the encouragement of a trusted friend changed your level of success. Who was/is your best teacher and why?

Let’s chat.

Personal power is what this site and blog are all about. Personal power is the key to our success as human beings. It defines how we think and act on a daily basis. It motivates and inspires each of us as we live and work in the world.

So what is personal power made of? What does it look like? How will you know when you have it?

Here are Three Key Components of Personal Power:

1. Focus – One way that our personal power is conveyed is through our ability to focus.

It was the painter Robert Henri who said: “Do whatever you do intensely.” 

So it is with our focus – we must do it intensely. The successful and powerful person, husband, wife, entrepreneur has about them an intense and driven focus that separates them from the crowd.

This person is able to control their thoughts, emotions and actions to the point that they are completely centered on the things needed in order to shape and mold a successful life. It is as if they have been taken over by the Zen Proverb that says:

“When walking walk. When eating, eat.”

Laser focus is the first key component of personal power.

2. Action – Personal power is wrapped up in action. Let me say that differently: without action – there cannot be any personal power.

Someone who possesses personal power can and does take the time to think, deliberate, and plan. There is no “willy nilly” or “fly by the seat of your pants” in personal power. Plans are made, goals are set and details are worked out….

….and then action is taken!

The person of power lives by the words of Napoleon Hill:

“Don’t wait, the time will never be just right”

This is the main difference with most of us. We sit back and consider and roll around and wring our hands waiting on the “perfect” time to get in the game and take action.

My friends, there is never a perfect time – act. Don’t wait – act. Get up – act. Now is the time – act!

Action is the second key component of personal power.

3. Change – You will never find yourself filled with personal power if you are afraid or unwilling to change.

A simple definition of personal power might be, “The ability to change the direction of your life.” 

When we change our behavior patterns, we access personal power. When we are able to change habits like smoking, exercise, gossip or negative self talk, we gain personal power.

When we are willing to embrace change with such a desire and determination that allows us to consider all the possibilities of life, at that moment, we have stepped into the realm of personal power.

Change is the end game of the personal power components.

Our greatest power happens when we have laser focus that allows us to know what we want and where we are going.

That focus is then taken up in consistent action that moves out into the world with step-by-step acts that propel us forward.

The culmination of our personal power comes when we have focused and acted and – changed. That is personal power.

I close with a quote from Reinhold Neibuhr:

“Change is the essence of life. be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.”

When we are willing to do that – we have personal power. It is then that we have a powerful life.

Your Turn:

There are more components to personal power. What have I left out? What do you think they are?

Let’s keep the conversation going below.

image: personalpatches

As those of us here in the United States get ready to celebrate our Thanksgiving holiday, I thought it would be fitting to take a brief look at gratitude and how it plays a powerful role in our life.

What is gratitude? Is it simply saying “thank you” and really meaning it? Is it just being thankful for the good things or people in our lives? Is it really an attitude?

Yes, gratitude is all these things, but I’d like to suggest that “the quality or feeling of being grateful or thankful,” holds more power over our lives and our success than we might think.

Here are four ways that an attitude of gratitude is a powerful thing:

1. An attitude of gratitude reduces negative thoughts.

Think about it. It’s hard to be negative when your attitude is filled with the positive notion of gratitude and thankfulness. When we take the time to shape our thoughts around those things for which we are grateful – we experience the power of dispelling that which is negative in our life.

2. An attitude of gratitude improves our relationships.

Appreciation is a part of gratitude. We all like to be appreciated for who we are and even for what we do. When we come to our relationships with an attitude of appreciation, we often experience transforming power. Years of tensions or bitterness can melt away through the simple, yet powerful act of gratitude and appreciation.

3. An attitude of gratitude is a good health choice.

There are all kinds of scientific studies about this, but just think about it again – don’t you feel better, happier and more optimistic when you are grateful? How about your productivity? I’m willing to bet that you and I are both more productive when we are filled with an attitude of thankfulness.

4. An attitude of gratitude focuses our minds on what we want in our lives.

This is another one of those simple, yet very powerful truths. Think of it this way – if we are truly grateful for all the blessings in our lives, why wouldn’t we want more of them? Our attitude of gratitude serves to focus our minds on the things we have and the things we want, desire and need to live an even fuller, more meaningful life.

In the end gratitude is not just an attitude, but it is a choice.

When we choose to be grateful and to express that gratefulness, we find our lives being shaped by its power. When that happens, we move our life to greater heights – and that is always something to be thankful for.

Your Turn:

How has being grateful made your life better, easier, more fulfilled? What are you grateful for in this season of Thanksgiving? How do you express your gratefulness to your friends, family, co-workers or boss?

Share your thoughts below.