What makes you happy?

Money?

Fame?

Shoes?

Travel?

Marriage?

Friendship?

A fabulous meal?

A walk on the beach?

A smile?

I like happy people – don’t you? They are certainly fun to be around. In fact, happy people have a way of drawing us out of those times when we may be down and a bit blue.

It’s my mission to be happy and to help others be happy too. I believe that happiness leads to so many other things that we need to live a full and meaningful life.

Like self-esteem, personal power, confidence, kindness and compassion. Happiness is the foundation upon which each of these qualities is built.

So how can we be happy? 

Is there anything that we can do to add happiness to our lives?

Here are 4 things you should do to build happiness into your life.

1. Think about those things that make you happy.

This sounds so obvious, but I run upon so many people who just trudge their way through everyday life without ever thinking about their personal happiness. It is as if they are fearful of thinking about things that would truly make them happy.

The truth of the matter is that happiness takes work. Being happy requires you to be present in life. It forces you to sit up and take notice of the things that are going on in your life and to make decisions regarding them.

Excuse me for being blunt, but too many people are too lazy to do this work.

STOP IT!

Try this very simple exercise:

Take out a piece of paper right now and list all the things in life that make you happy. DO NOT censor them. List them as they come to mind. Let it free flow from your mind and heart.

Now comes the real work.

Get in touch with your mind and heart and begin to narrow the list down. In the end, you want to have a list of no more than 5 things, people, places or activities that make you happy.

More on that in a minute.

2. Share what makes you happy with someone you trust.

Should you share with your spouse or committed partner? Absolutely, but do not stop there. Share with a trusted friend, Coach or colleague.  The idea here is for you to have someone to be accountable to beyond those in your immediate relationship or family.

Share the whole list first and then talk about why you narrowed it to the top five. This will allow you more time to process your decision and have a confidant to reason with along the way.

3. Work your list.

I am reminded of the saying “Plan your work and work your plan.” That is what we are doing here. Now that you have your list of the top five things that make you happy, you are going to work that list to bring more happiness to your life.

Ask yourself to simple questions about each of the five things on your list.

One: Why did I list this as something that makes me happy?

Physically write your answer down in something you can keep for future reference. This sets your reasoning in stone. It is imperative to your success.

Two: What can I do to make this thing that makes me happy a reality in my life?

Write down your answer to this question again. Get specific. Dig deep within to find definite actions you can take.

Example: “Helping others makes me happy.”

I can get involved with a cause or charity that I believe in.

That cause is Breast Cancer Awareness.

I am going to raise money and walk in the next Susan G. Koman Race for the Cure.

Here is the link to help me sign up and get started: www.komen.org

Do this for each of your top five.

4. Take action

Nothing good is ever accomplished without action. Get up, get out and work your plan.

Contact those that need to be contacted.

Plan that vacation.

Cultivate that new friendship.

Buy that great pair of shoes!

Take action!

What makes you happy? Let’s chat in the comments.

I talk a good deal about personal power on this blog. It is at the core of what I do as a Speaker, Coach and Writer.

Personal power is the very foundation upon which all of us build powerful, vibrant and exciting lives filled with purpose and mission.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how a healthy lifestyle affects our personal power. The bottom line is that having a strong mind, spirit and body is essential to growing and sustaining a deep and abiding personal power. One cannot be without the other.

In that regard, let’s take a look at….

Five ways to begin living a healthy lifestyle:

1. Realize that it’s a journey not a destination.

Start with the correct mindset. Too many people think in terms of “I’m going to get healthy” like health is a simple destination that can be obtained.

In my mind, “healthy” is what you DO as much as it is what you are. Think in terms of living a healthy lifestyle, one that is worked out on a daily basis through the journey of life. Knowing that your health needs continual, systematic effort on your part, helps you during the hard times and allows you to pick yourself up and get back on the path when you fall.

A healthy lifestyle is a journey not a destination.

2. Eliminate stress.

Stress is the #1 killer of a healthy body, mind and spirit. Stress eats away at the foundation of your personal power. It distracts you, wears on you and drags you down.

Meditation, yoga, hiking, exercise and deep breathing exercises help reduce and even eliminate stress. Each of these have been shown to reduce the risk of heart disease, diabetes and other ailments.

Do not overwhelm yourself (don’t stress) with the thought of adding each of these to your life. Pick one that interests you and do it. Make a deliberate choice to incorporate a stress reducing activity into your daily life.

3. Eat differently.

Try something new. Eat six small meals per day.

It looks like this:

Breakfast. Snack. Lunch. Snack. Dinner. Snack.

These small meals help sustain your metabolism throughout the day and reduce cravings. This technique allows your body to feel fulfilled throughout the day and gives you the needed energy to get things done.

Try to finish your eating for the day by 8:00pm. This gives your body the time needed to process the food and helps you sleep better.

4. Get rest.

Sleep is essential for a healthy lifestyle. Preparation for your down time is important as well. Shut off stimulation like laptops and cell phones an hour before you go to bed. This allows your mind to begin to wind down and sets you up for good sleep.

It is important to get 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep so that your body can relax, rest and regenerate.

5. Get outside.

How much time do you spend outdoors in any given week? Do you get enough fresh air and sunlight?

The reason I ask is because studies have shown that outdoor activities are a definite part of a healthy lifestyle. In fact, they have been shown to help increase self-esteem (needed for personal power) and reduce depression, tension, anger and even symptoms of ADHD.

Get outside – you deserve it!

It is time to give yourself a fighting chance at a healthy lifestyle. It takes action – sustained, consistent, deliberate action. It is a journey that you need to be willing to take.

You can do it – I believe in the power of you!

Warning: You have just entered the no fluff and fill zone.

It seems everybody writes about courage and leadership these days. Some of it is awesome. Some of it – not so much.

I want to push past all the fluff, fill and flowery words to get straight to the heart of courageous leadership.

Here we go.

Courageous Leadership is:

1. Aware.

Courageous leadership knows what it wants. It is not wishy-washy.

It has it figured out and has no time for hand wringing or fear.

The courageous leader is self-conscious and aware of behaviors and patterns of thinking that prevent her from reaching what she wants. She is “in tune” with her mission, believes in her awareness and acts in positive ways to support them both.

Courageous leadership is not asleep. It is not a guess. It has no use for doubt.

Courageous Leadership is AWARE.

2. Challenging.

Courageous leadership challenges the status quo. It does not settle.

The courageous leader pushes the boundaries of  ”we have always done it this way.” She powers through long-held fears because she knows those fears have directly challenged her life, her family, her business or organization from reaching their full potential.

Courageous leadership challenges tradition, not for the sake of defiance alone, but because tradition can get stuck in the mire and mud of its past and not reach out to the future in positive and powerful ways. It has learned from the past, but drives forward into new horizons.

Courageous leadership is not stuck. It is not boring. It has no use for fear.

Courageous Leadership is CHALLENGING.

3. Effective.

Courageous leadership hits the mark. It does not waffle.

The courageous leader has made up her mind and performs her task with effectiveness. She is successful in producing her desired and intended result.

Why?

Courageous leadership is effective because it has within it the two most important characteristics of leadership itself: passion and integrity.

It is the triple play. Courage, Passion and Integrity.

The courageous leader is not courageous without passion, in fact, the level of courage a leader has is directly proportionate to her level of passion. One cannot be without the other.

The same is true for integrity. A courageous leader is courageous because she stands up and speaks up for a life lived with full integrity.

She doesn’t settle for almost. She has strong moral principles. She is honest.

Courageous leadership is not weak. It is not inadequate. It has no use for not getting it done.

Courageous leadership is EFFECTIVE.

Be aware. Be challenging. Be effective.

Would you like to be known as a courageous leader? I’m betting you would.

Your Turn:

Who are some of the most courageous leaders today or from the past? What sets them a part? How would you fill in the blank: Courageous Leadership is _______________ ?

It was Winston Churchill that said:

“Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities… because it is the quality which guarantees all others.”

Maya Angelou goes further and reminds us of the truth that:

“Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can’t practice any other virtue consistently. We can’t be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest.”

Pretty powerful stuff huh? Courage seems to be high on the important meter. Without it we are unable to be all that we were created to be.

So what is this courage thing anyway?

By definition courage is:

“The quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery.”

Courage is synonymous with:

• fearlessness
• backbone
• dauntlessness
• resolution
• valor
• firmness
• grit
• power

Courage is the opposite of:

• fear
• cowardice
• faint-heartedness
• timidity

Courage is a common metaphor for inner strength. It is something deep inside us that seeks expression in order for us to live full and vibrant lives.

Hear this:

I think people grossly underestimate themselves when it comes to courage.

You see, I believe that your gifts are already inside you and one of those gifts is courage. I believe that you are Undeniably Powerful and possess all the needed attributes to stand up to fear, overcome that fear and make your dreams a reality.

Over the years I have seen and worked with countless people who, in the face of adversity, have demonstrated acts of courage and bravery. Something welled up within each one them that propelled them through the fear and into victory.

That something was courage.

They were undaunted, firm and fearless.

Their inner strength was made manifest in the midst of the storm.

They possessed a resolute firmness and backbone even when things around them were falling a part.

They were able to pick up the pieces and fashion out of them a new and exciting life.

Just like 14 year old Ben Underwood has done:

Can you imagine how scared and fearful he was when he came home from that surgery?

Ben could have given up and lived a life of helplessness and despair.

His mother could have treated him in such a way that he would never have developed into the vibrant young man he is now.

But they didn’t.

Ben and his mom met the challenge with courage.

They fought the battle with courage.

They pushed through the darkness and paralyzing fear with courage.

They believed as Walt Disney believed, that:

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.”

It is time to Power UP my friends. Your dreams are out there ready for you to meet them with courage.

Your Turn:

What does courage mean to you?

I want to start this blog post out with a truth.

Here is today’s truth:

I believe beyond a shadow of doubt that your whole life improves exponentially as your self esteem increases.

Your whole life. Not just your personal or family or business life – your whole life changes for the better as your work to increase your self-esteem.

Therein lies another truth:

Increasing your self-esteem takes work.

It does not just happen. You cannot simply will it into existence. You must work, act, get off your butt and make it happen.

This is a practical not theoretical blog post. I want to give you:

The Top Three Things You Can Do To Boost Your Self-Esteem

1. Treat yourself like you want others to treat you.

We all know the “Golden Rule” which states that we should treat others like we want to be treated. Excellent stuff there – makes the world a better place when we act this way.

How about starting from a place that allows you to do this “rule” effectively? In order to treat others well, we must begin treating ourselves in the same manner. No one likes to be treated badly. Everyone dislikes it when they are treated rudely or with a sense of disdain.

Then why do we treat ourselves like we don’t matter? Why do we see ourselves through a distorted lens that denies the fact that we are undeniably powerful?

STOP IT! Stand up for yourself on a daily basis. Let yourself know that you have within you everything you need to be strong, happy and fulfilled.

Treat yourself like you want to be treated – do it today!

2. Challenge yourself.

Our self-esteem in like a muscle. When we don’t use it, it begins to atrophy and becomes weak. Eventually it dies off and we find ourselves in the midst of despair.

Do not allow this to happen! 

How?

Challenge yourself to do something that absolutely scares the daylights out of you. Life is all about taking risks, and if you confront something that petrifies you head-on, you can show yourself that you have the guts to face and overcome your fears.

Do you cringe at the thought of speaking in public? Challenge yourself to do it.

Does joining a local civic group make your hands sweat? Sign up today.

Would you rather have a root canal than actively seek a promotion at work? Guess what? – it’s time for that to be your challenge.

Press into the thing that scares you. Challenge yourself to be more. Reach out and take a risk. All these things are positive ways to boost your self-esteem.

3. Pursue your passion.

What makes you tick? What makes you want to get up in the morning and face the day with confidence? What turns your crank so much that you can’t stop thinking about it?

Whatever IT is; your friends, family, career or a new adventure – that IT that creates intensity within you is your passion.

Once discovered, and then pursued, your passion will be the driving force that increases your self-esteem. It will be the thing that leads to newness in your life.

When you love something you will be good at it. When you are good at something you are on the path that leads to more self-esteem.

When you are on that path – your life gets better exponentially.

Your Turn:

What things do you do on a consistent basis to increase your self-esteem. How have these things made your life better? If you had one bit of advice for someone struggling with their self-esteem, what would it be?

Let’s continue the conversation in the comments!

Fear is something that we all experience as we journey through life. I’m not talking about phobias or that adrenaline rush you get when you skid to a stop right before rear-ending the car in front of you on the freeway.  Fear is so much bigger than that.

Fear is one of the strongest forces in our lives. It may manifest itself in many forms like:

• Fear of failure
• Fear of loss
• Fear of change
• Fear of risk
• Fear of success

If allowed control, fear can be there very thing that holds us back, deterring us from our path of realizing our highest self;  from reaching our truest potential. Fear can stifle creativity, curb motivation and hinder our goals.

The question isn’t whether or not we experience fear in our lives; the more important question for each of us to ask and answer is how we can move through our fears in an honest way so that they don’t stop us from being who we really are and going for what we truly want in life.

Good news!

Fear can be processed honesty. Fear can be worked through. You can move beyond your fears to the life you were meant to have!

Here are 4 keys for overcoming fear:

1. Be honest about fear.

The first step in overcoming fear is to bring it out into the light of day and acknowledge it. Be honest, tell the truth and be real about the fear you hold.

When we hide our fear, we give it life. When we deny that it exists, we allow it more power that it should hold.

When we shine a light on fear and talk it through, we often find that it was not nearly as scary as we thought.

Honestly admitting our fear gives us the needed breathing room to deal with it. It opens the door to moving beyond.

2. Own it.

Take responsibility for your fear. Own up to the fact that it is your problem.

Why?

Because too often we tend to want to blame others or “circumstances beyond our control” for the fear we are experiencing. Can people or circumstances be scary and fearful? Sure, but the control of that fear lies squarely in your lap. You determine it’s influence over you and your life.

By taking responsibility for our fears we begin to own the fact that we are the only ones who can change them. When we realize this truth, we are on the path to moving beyond fear.

3. Let it out.

Do not repress your fear.

Speak, write,  journal, run, hit something (not someone), scream – do something to let fear out of your body. When we express our emotions with intensity they begin to move through us. When we truly “feel the fear”, we start the process of lessening it’s power and hold over us.

Make fear weak by becoming strong – which leads into our last, and most important key.

4. Take action.

Overcoming fear is not a spectator sport. If you want to let go of and move beyond your fear, you have to be in the game and not on the sideline.

Here are some powerful actions you can take:

A. Give your fear an expiration date. Set a specific time frame for working through and moving beyond.

B. Make fear manageable by break it down into smaller chunks.

C. Stop projecting the worst that can happen.

D. Visualize your desired outcome – see it in your mind.

E. Get up, get out and work for your dream.

F. Always have a Plan B.

There you have it – 4 keys that you can use to overcome fear in your life. I hope you find them helpful.

Your Turn:

Are there other keys that you have used to overcome fear? How have you used them and what was the outcome?

Let’s continue the conversation below.

Lots has been written over the years about Mindset. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines Mindset as:

a habitual or characteristic mental attitude that determines how you will interpret and respond to situations

The Free Dictionary makes it a bit easier:

a mental attitude or inclination

Our mindset is simply the attitude we take towards like – how we think in the world around us.

For me, Mindset is foundational to everything we do in life and in business. It shapes the way we see the world and how we act in it.

Here’s The Truth About Mindset:

Your mindset determines your success.

You are more than welcome to define that success for yourself, but please know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that how you think determines your outcome. Proper thought directly affects your success as a person, wife, husband, business owner, speaker, author and more.

External Pointers To The Truth

Is there a reason why Napoleon Hill’s classic Think and Grow Rich is still read by millions each year? Millionaires and billionaires like Bill Gates, Mary Kay Ash, Dave Thomas and Sir John Templeton have all pointed to proper mindset as key to their success. Each one of them drew their inspiration from the concepts found in Hill’s book.

Hill demonstrated the power of the mind and the thoughts that come from it when he said:

“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”

When you stop the hustle and bustle of your life and focus your mindset on what you want to achieve in every area of your life, remember this truth. If you can conceive it and believe it – it can be yours.

Many have written off Mindset as touchy-feely, woo woo, pop psychology.

Let me ask you, does this truth ring true to reality with you?

Internal Pointers To The Truth

The Dali Lama  says that the purpose of life is one thing: Happiness.  This just feels right and the opposite feels so wrong.

With this idea in mind, can you see how a proper mindset filled with hope and determination can lead to not only happiness, but also success? Is it just possible that you can truly change your life by changing your thinking?

I am not naive. I have seen how hard it can be to change long held negative thought patterns. These patterns can be paralyzing at times. It takes work to change them.

I have also seen the amazing transformation that happens in people’s lives when they do the hard work and reinvent their thinking.

Conclusion

In life and in business we always have choices. We can choose to live and think in positive or negative patterns. We can choose our mindset – it is not predetermined for us.

We are in control – of our thoughts, our lives and our success.

Your Turn:

I want to hear your thoughts. How has life changed for you when you have changed your mindset? Do you agree or disagree with this post? Why? 

Please continue the conversation below!

New Beginnings

I always love this time of year. The turn of the New Year brings with it a sense of excitement and a fresh call to begin again. It is almost as if the slate is wiped clean and we get the opportunity to paint a beautiful new masterpiece of values, goals and action.

I say “almost” because I never want to discount the role of our past in our lives. While our past never completely determines our future, it does have an impact that we cannot simply shrug off. It’s there; no need to deny it.

This is especially true when we reflect back over the good things of our recent past. What went well for you in 2011? Take those things and use them as jumping off points in 2012. This, my friends, is the proper use of our past in our present and future.

With this being said, it is the goal of this post to give you three new beginnings for your consideration as you work and live and play in 2012.

Three New Beginnings for 2012:

1. Being willing to set sacrifices as well as goals.

I have written previously about the idea of New Year = new goals. While I would never discount the importance of goals, I think those goals need to be coupled with the need for sacrifice.

It is a simple yet powerful truth: We cannot be everywhere doing everything for everyone all the time.

The idea is this: For many of you, your life is too full already and for any new goals to succeed, you must be willing to sacrifice something.

Maybe it is:

• TV
• Sleep
• Perfectionism
• Job security
• Fear of failure
• Eating out
• Your favorite dog (okay, that might be stretching it a bit!)

Be willing to sacrifice something along the line this year for the greater good of new goals.

2. Staying focused.

I have seen too many people get side-tracked from their new beginnings because of lack of focus.

You must decide how much your goals really do mean to you and how much time and effort you are willing to put into them – and then you must laser focus your mind and your action on achieving them. Focus is key.

Do not let every new shiny thing distract you.

Focus your mind daily on the task at hand.

Focus your action to each specific step along the way.

Stay focused – you deserve it.

3. Being consistent.

Being consistent is one of my favorite character traits in a person. I like consistent people.

Consistency brings up other powerful character traits like:

1. Trustworthy
2. Determined
3. Loyal
4. Persistent
5. Unwavering

The good news is that the more focused you are, the more consistent you become.

People depend on you. Your family, friends and business relationships want you to be consistent. They want to know that the positive things you do you will do over and over again.

It’s all about being consistent if you are to have wonderful new beginnings in 2012.

Let’s embrace the new year ahead together.

I’m here for you.

DeLores

Question:

What are you excited about in 2012? What are your new beginnings? What are you doing to ensure that they come to fruition?

As this year draws to an end and the light of the New Year looms near, I am sure many of you are setting resolutions and goals. It’s the acceptable and normal thing during this time.

New Year – new goals.

• I’ll lose weight.
• I’ll exercise.
• I’ll save money.
• I’ll travel.
• I’ll start a business.

The prospect of newness is a beautiful thing. With it we feel like we can overcome the world.

Until fear sets in.

What if I succeed?

What happens if I lose the weight, exercise and save some money?

What will my life be like if I really do build a business and have the money needed to travel the world?

I know it seems a bit odd to some of you, but the fear of success is real in the lives of so many people. It rules their world and keeps them from achieving all they were meant to be.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is time to give fear of success an expiration date!

How?

Here are a few techniques I have discovered over the years:

1. First, identify your fear.

I will tell you straight out – this is not the fun part of getting rid of your fear of success. This is the part that includes work

In order to identify your fear you will need to spend some time with it. Get to know it. Make friends with it. Find out where it comes from and why it has taken up residence in your particular life.

This is an inward process. It involves stopping the normal hustle and bustle of your life long enough to be honest and real with yourself. It takes courage to belly up with fear and give it an identity.

Do you have the courage? I think you do.

2. Second, address your beliefs about success.

For many, the fear of success is really not a fear at all – it is a mistaken notion they have about success.

Certain groups or organizations may have steered them into the wrong mindset at it relates to success. This mindset has now set them down a path of thinking wrongly and it has manifested itself in their life as fear.

One excellent method to help your determine and address your belief about success is to write several endings to the following sentences:

Success means….

If I experienced total success….

3. Decide what your own ideal level of success is.

The world around you has many ideas about what success is – fame, fortune, houses, cars and the like. There is nothing wrong with any of them, but they are someone else’s idea of what it means to be successful.

You need to determine your ideal level of success. Only when you understand your standards will you be able to reach them. Knowing what you want opens the door to release the fear of success.

Also, remember that what you want at this stage of your life could change, so your ideal life is certainly not written in stone. Allow it to change as you grow. Be flexible.

4. Act.

Action is the most powerful way to overcome the fear of success. You can identify and address and decide all day long, but if you never act – you will be left in fear.

Daily, consistent action towards your goals and ideal success is a sure and certain way to push out the fear and fill the void. It is the best way to take control of your life and destiny.

Action is key.

Once again, do you have the courage to overcome the fear of success. I truly think you do.

Armed with these techniques you have all that you need to give fear of success an expiration date!

Your Turn:

What techniques have you used in your life to overcome fear? What goals do you have for the coming year? 

Share your thoughts and experiences below.

At this time of year, with all the hustle and bustle of the Holiday season, I want to take a moment and send my best wishes to each of you who stop by and read the Power Blog.

As a writer, there is nothing better than having a place to share ideas that hopefully bring insight and personal power. That is my hope for each post.  It is a joy to write for you, to interact with you and to provide a place of learning and community.

“PowerUp with Pressley” is not just a saying – it is my mission. Thank you for tagging along on that journey.

Here is my Holiday wish for you – the three P’s:

1. I wish you Peace.

If you spend anytime reading the newspapers or watching television news, you know that we live in a world that is often far from being at peace.  Wars, crime, poverty and so many forms of strife can be found all around us. It is the world in which we live.

How then can we have peace?

First, we are not ignorant or naive. We do not live by the motto “out of sight, out of mind.” We understand and face the facts at hand.

But we do so with a different understanding of peace.

“Peace is an inside job” is the truth you and I live by. We understand that if we every want to see peace in our outside world, we must have peace within.

We achieve this kind of peace by living, acting, working from a place of confidence and power. Peace is not some soft, milk toast feeling of utter humility. Peace is strong and powerful and acts in such a way that brings about change for the better in our lives, our families and our world.

I wish you that Peace.

2. I wish you Personal Power.

I have been called a Confidence and Personal Power Expert. I accept that because I know I have dedicated my life to developing confidence and power in my own life and the lives of others. It’s not only what I do, it’s who I am.

Personal Power is readily available to each of us, but too often it goes unnoticed. I have a saying that “Personal power is a gift that often goes unopened.” 

That saying reminds me of:

• the gift of personal power and how it changes lives
• my unending work of speaking, training and coaching related to personal power

I want the gift to be opened – so I wish you personal power.

3. I wish you Prosperity.

The term “prosperity” means so many things to so many people.

The dictionary definition of the word is quite simple: “the condition of being prosperous.”

I think the true understanding of prosperity lies in the words that are associated with it. Words like:

• success
• happy
• health
• well-being
• good fortune
• wealth

These are the words I think of when I think of prosperity in my life.

These are the things I wish you when I wish you Prosperity.

There you have them – my three P’s for this Holiday season. When you encounter the warmth and love of friends and family this season, wish them the three P’s. As you think about your life and work in the coming year, plan around the three P’s. May they be a source of encouragement and help for you and yours.

Happy Holidays!

Question:

What are you wishing for this season? What about your family or your business – what are you wishing for them?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!